Struggling with Average
It’s Monday morning and I’m back at work. Ready to tackle the week at hand but also thinking about the weekend. I’m ready to type out of my to do lists for the day, figuring out what needs to be done this week, looking over my calendar to see what meetings I need to prep for, and getting my mind prepped the task at hand.
But I’m plagued with this question in my head that I can’t see to ask or answer…
Growing up I watched adults that I admired and idolize go through the daily actions I now do. I wake up, shower, drink coffee, go to work, hit the gym, go to the grocery store, make dinner, get together with friends or watch tv and repeat. They do this day after day, week after week, and year after year until something changes or they retire. For the most part that is my routine now too.
Why did I romanticize it as a child and now struggle with it as an adult…
The part that struggles with this more is that I like my life. In fact I love it! I have cultivated a community of friends that I can't get enough of. I have been blessed with so many crazy amazing people that I get to go to dinner with, cook with, watch comedy
shows with, workout with, and more that it’s overwhelming and great! I can’t believe I have all these people in my life. I have a job where I like my coworkers and boss. It’s rewarding and challenging. I actually use my degree (that I’m still paying off) for everyday.
Beyond my friends my day to day is amazing. I have the world's greatest husband. It’s not just a saying on a mug, it’s true! I cannot get enough of him. We have been together now for over a decade and he is still the only person I never get tired of talking to. My favorite part of the day is when he walks through the door after work and greets me with a kiss. Simple and corny but yet my favorite part of my day.
Beyond that there are millions of other little things that I take for granted that I love on a daily basis. I love that all my years of working my ass off have paid off and I truly feel fit. I love my pour over coffee on Saturday mornings. I love cooking new meals from our meal kit delivery system. I love our home. I love walking my dog and petting my cat. I love where I live in LA and how on any given moment I can drive down Pacific Coast Highway and see the ocean.
Honestly there’s nothing I can think of in my life I want to change. If that’s true then why am I struggling mentally?
Is it because it’s all too normal? Is it because it’s not something extravagant? Is it because I was expecting that once I got here it would be something more.
How can something be better than I expected but yet not seem enough? What does the word enough mean? Does it come down to the idea of struggling with being average, which what’s wrong with that? In fact I think I’m above average! If average is what TV portrays to us then I’ve reached that and more.
In my head and I want to say ‘stop struggling and start enjoying’ but yet something nags at me.
So again I pose this question for you...have you gotten to the place where you want to be and struggled with why it doesn’t feel like everything it should feel? I’m curious if there is anyone out there struggling with this like.
Comment and let me know because I’m really curious. Again, maybe I’m on an island or maybe I’m not. Maybe I need to change my perspective and just realize how blessed I am. How do you feel about this?
XOXO
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